Who do your kids meet online? What experts and police want parents to know

The numbers are eye opening.

A survey by the Center for Cyber ​​Security and Education found that 40% of children in grades 4-8 have contacted or chatted with a stranger online. Of these children, 53% shared their phone number; 21% talked on the phone; and 11% said they had met a stranger in person.

While “stranger danger” used to only refer to people a child might encounter in the real world, today’s digital parents now have to worry about the billions of strangers a child has access to online.

“I often tell parents to think of it as a park,” says Sarah Gardner, vice president of external relations for Thorn, a nonprofit working to protect children from sexual abuse. “The park can be a really fun place for your kids to play and interact with other kids. But you also wouldn’t want your child wandering around with an adult they’ve never seen before. So you have to imagine that there are both children and adults in this online environment.”

Chat functionality is built into many aspects of our online lives. Social networks have the possibility of direct messaging. There are many applications for instant messaging and chat. And many video games offer features that allow users to communicate directly — and privately — with others.

All of this contributes to a world in which children are increasingly comfortable meeting strangers online, often viewing them simply as friends they don’t yet have. That is why parents should be aware and diligent.

“The Internet has changed lives for the better in many ways, but it has created new ways of harm and exploitation,” said Callahan Walsh, executive director of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). “Kids and parents should be aware of this when your child has a device, be it a tablet or a phone.”

While the vast majority of online interactions are safe, the consequences of insecure ones can be severe. It can be as simple as online scammers trying to get personal information from a child. Or those who want to force a child to share incriminating photos that can later be used for Internet blackmail. Even worse are predators trying to take children away from their parents.

These risks highlight the need to work early and often to inform children.

“As soon as their child starts asking for a cell phone,” said Detective Andrew Mathews of the Fort Worth Police Department. “Or as soon as they start connecting to any electronic device that connects to the Internet.”

Matthews also cautioned that just because a child can’t get online at home doesn’t mean they can’t access connected devices at a friend’s home or school. That’s why experts say it’s never too early to start these discussions.

“This is how you best prepare your child for these worlds and also build trust with them so that they come to you when things go wrong,” said Gardner.

In addition to using parental controls and directly monitoring a child’s Internet use, Gardner recommends Thorn’s parent web resources, owned by her company. They include online risk information, age-specific strategies, and conversation-starter discussion guides to help parents get the ball rolling.

And Walsh advertised free information available on the NCMEC website, including NetSmartz and KidSmartz, their online child safety programs. There, kids can watch educational videos and even take quizzes to make sure they know how to stay safe online.

“You have to have these safety conversations,” he said, “but make sure they keep going because the conversation you have with your youngest child about online safety is very different than the conversation you have about online safety with your teen.” “.

And if all else fails and parents discover their child is engaging in questionable online conversation, Matthews said parents shouldn’t be afraid to bring in the authorities.

“Call 911,” he said. “We are here to protect people and try to prevent serious crime.”

Ultimately, experts have reminded today’s digital parents that the tools they learned as children won’t always work today. This generation of adults did not grow up with a smartphone and a camera in their hands, so they need new strategies, additional awareness and active communication between parents and their children to keep everyone safe.

“We live in a different era,” Walsh said. “And because of that, parents need to know and protect their children from these dangers.”

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