“Valentine’s Day Gift” – Northeast News

My husband Peter doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. I mean, he knows it’s a thing. It’s just something he chooses to ignore.

“Silly!” That’s Peter’s verdict.

Peter gets offended whenever a big marketing effort is made to get him to buy things to show affection. This is how he treats Christmas, believing that it has become too commercial. This is how he treats birthdays, insisting that his birthday is nothing to celebrate. Buying gifts for Peter is pretty easy because he doesn’t want anything.

But Peter is one of the most generous people I have ever known. He never hesitates to take the bill. He always gives generous tips. He constantly helps organizations he believes in. He just worries when they expect a gift from him. He finds it stressful and annoying, so I figured out a long time ago that he wouldn’t give me gifts on so-called special occasions, and I wouldn’t try to figure out what he wanted.

I’m really glad I don’t have to guess what Peter wants.

Peter has very specific tastes and likes to perfect them. If Peter buys a new shirt, he will be able to tell me more about this shirt than I ever knew about any piece of clothing I own. It will almost certainly be resistant to sunlight and likely to be error resistant and possibly provide protection against thermonuclear attack. I don’t even ask. This applies equally to every gadget he uses and every pot and pan in our house. Not having to figure out what Peter wants (or doing research like that!) is a big relief.

Instead, I try to be nice to him.

When I’m stressed or anxious, I try to remember that none of these feelings have anything to do with him. If my mind is already busy, I try to make room and listen carefully to what he tells me. I try to stay away from him when he needs personal space. I try to keep him company when he needs it.

And Peter always gives me gifts. They just don’t seem like gifts.

I hate the light in the kitchen of the little apartment we rent in Mexico. It is bright blue and white.

“I feel like we could do elective surgery here!” I tell Peter.

But the ceilings are high, I don’t have stairs, and the light in the kitchen is very necessary. The light doesn’t bother Peter. He does not seem to notice the difference in the color of the light, as I do. It’s just one of many ways (I’m sure) that I seem unnecessarily fussy to him.

Turn off the lights as soon as you’re done! I always say to Peter in an unnecessarily annoyed voice.

But one day I walked into the kitchen and Peter was cooking in bright amber light.

– You changed the light bulb! I said delightedly.

“Yes,” he said. It wasn’t as high as I thought.

I don’t know how Peter got up to the ceiling to change the light bulb. But I know everything else. He changed the light bulb because he understands me.

He changed it because he wanted me to be happy. He changed it because he loves me and it was his Valentine’s gift to me.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Please!” he replied.

Both the kitchen and my heart were filled with warm light.

Until next time Carrie

Photos and other news can be found at CarrieClasson.com.