Starting Over Can Be Lonely, Say NYU Transfer Students

Limited social opportunities can prevent transfer students from making friends and feeling integrated into NYU culture.

Leaving a traditional campus for the fast-paced lifestyle of New York can be a daunting ordeal that poses challenges to even the most prepared transfer student. CAS Junior Casey Goldenberg transferred to NYU in the spring of 2022 after having difficulty finding a place at the University of Virginia.

“From the minute I got there, I wasn’t a fan,” Goldenberg said. “It just didn’t suit me.”

While visiting Florence, Italy, she realized that a larger city would suit her better. But when Goldenberg finally got into NYU, she fell right into the middle of the school year and found it hard to get back on her feet. She is one of approximately 2,300 students who transfer to NYU each year. —and approximately 2.1 million nationally in 2020–2021. But the sheer number of transfer students does not make it easy to transfer to a major urban school like New York University.

“At first it was strange because I didn’t know a soul,” Goldenberg said. “I was very nervous about finding a place.”

The difficult process of integrating into a new university, which Goldenberg went through in her first few months at NYU, was shown to have led to loneliness. epidemic among studentsespecially after being hit by COVID-19. Today, loneliness is one of the most pressing public health crises in the world. as deadly as the risks associated with smoking and drinking. Seventy-one percent of teenagers and young adults reported feeling lonelywith location change being one of the main factors.

Rob Danzman, a licensed clinical mental health consultant, explained that Goldenberg’s problems are common. He explained that the body and brain are trying to protect us from what they perceive as a threat, which is often associated with new places and new people.

“When we feel alone, we start to switch off,” Danzman said. “When students enter a new environment, they don’t even realize that they are hypervigilant. It is very difficult for them to calm this brain.”

Steinhardt High School Sarah Amirali also struggled to adjust to NYU when she transferred from George Washington University in the spring of 2021.

“It was not entirely my decision to move,” Amirali said. “It was more about finances where my parents wanted me to go to a higher ranked school so they would ‘justify their money’.

Amirali had already found a solid group of friends in GW and struggled to leave them behind.

“GW made my best friends,” Amirali said. “It was very difficult to start from scratch. [You’re] in a new city, in a new school, knowing no one and really starting all over again.”

According to Mary Joy, a licensed mental health consultant, social anxiety is common among the younger generation, especially those who are navigating a new environment and adjusting to a different academic culture.

“Generation Z is incredibly socially concerned,” Joy said. “Social media has made us all anti-social. Loneliness is almost always associated with trauma – as with big changes. When people are hurt, they close.”

For many transfer students, the hardest part of the transition to NYU is the lack of opportunity to meet people. Mimi Gewirtz of Gallatin Jr., due to the lack of a centralized campus at NYU, was unable to find her own place. Gewirtz transferred after spending a year at the University of Birmingham in England. Her goal has always been to transfer to NYU, but she said the road was “really lonely and quite isolating.”

“It was really hard to get into the life here,” Gewirtz said. “It was hard to get used to the new school and make friends without the programs and activities that freshmen have.”

Amirali added that she was frustrated by the meager resources NYU provided to transfer students.

“There really were no resources for students who transferred when everything was completely virtual,” Amirali said. “It was hard to make friends virtually, and I wasn’t even on campus, so there was no way I could meet other transfer students who were going through the same thing as me. It really isolating.”

Dantzman, a consultant, stressed the importance of transfer students showing up and trying to make friends on campus.

“You can’t control whether you like someone or not, or whether they had a good day — you don’t control any of that,” Dantzman said. “What we can control is: “Can I put your ass in a place where there are other like-minded people?” We can control it.”

After transferring from UVA, Goldenberg found that this was exactly the risk she needed to take. She agreed with Danzman that it is important for transfer students to actively participate in community activities by joining clubs or participating in university-wide events that help them connect and feel a sense of belonging. The best way is to simply reach out to other transfer students for friendship and support.

“I knew I needed to go outside to meet people,” Goldenberg said. “If I just sit down, no one will come near me. I need to do it.”

Disclaimer: Casey Goldenberg previously wrote for WSN. She did not review or edit this story prior to publication.

Contact Clara Spray at [email protected]