Sex in the Square: Debunking Casual Sex Myths

Casual sex is riddled with delusions and distortions. Let’s talk about what it actually looks like.

Did you arrive at NYU thinking that casual sex would be like “Friends with Benefits” or “No Commitments”? You thought casual sex was just drunken one-night stands, walking infamy to your dorm, and catching feelings in the end? Well, I, too.

Having been immersed in casual sex in New York for almost three years now, I have come across a lot of sexual negativity and slut shaming. Along the way, however, I decided to fight misconceptions about casual sex wherever they appeared. So let’s debunk six myths about casual sex.

Casual sex equals disrespect

Casual sex can command respect just like any other sexual situation. “Easy” does not mean that the meeting should be insensitive or thoughtless. Setting boundaries, checking regularly, offering water, giving your partner space to tell you what they want, and making sure they return home safely are just a few of the many issues casual sex partners worry about. may consider creating a respectful and safe environment for each other. Showing mutual respect and respecting established boundaries is the essence of a great everyday experience.

Casual sex doesn’t make sense

Students who engage in casual sex often seek to satisfy their sexual needs and learn more about their personality. Other reasons may include stress relief, learning about sexual freedom, and boosting self-confidence. The fact that these sexual experiences may not occur with a close partner does not mean that they should be neglected.

“Casual sex taught me not to be codependent, helped me connect with others and gave me the opportunity to be more confident in myself both physically and mentally,” said Bella, Tisha’s sophomore, who asked to be named. only. “I used to be the big man in relationships, but now that I’ve had casual sex, I’m happy to be single and explore my independence.”

People have casual sex because they don’t respect themselves.

Young people who engage in casual sex are often heavily criticized for their choices. They’re told it’s dangerous, it’s lewd, it’s not the “right” kind of sex, it’s pointless, and so on and so forth. But a healthy casual sex life is a conscious choice. Responsible whores, myself included, take pride in their sexual desires and use casual sex as a means of satisfying them.

It is important to remember that casual sex can be a toxic experience if not handled with care. Make sure your motives for it are in line with your mental and physical health, and that casual sex really adds positivity to your life, not just a way to seek validation. If you know it’s not for you, that’s perfectly fine.

Casual sex is not safe

Intentional casual sex comes with a responsibility to find safer sex. Sleeping with multiple people may be associated with the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections or potential pregnancy fears, but there are certain steps you can take to reduce the chance of bad outcomes. Casual sex is not dangerous in itself. There are many ways to protect yourself during casual encounters, including getting routine STI tests and discussing whether pre-exposure prophylaxis, an antiviral drug to reduce your risk of contracting HIV, is right for you at the New York University Student Health Center.

Free condoms, lube and dental pads are offered at the Student Medical Center and select NYU Residence Hall Resource Centers, so you can make sure you have supplies. Proper birth control is another important detail to keep in mind when practicing safe sex. Sex staff appointments, sex education workshops and birth control consultations available in the center if you are new to casual sex or have any health and pleasure concerns.

There can be no intimacy in a casual relationship

You can experience intimacy and tenderness in your casual relationships. Casual sex can take many different forms, and you need to decide which one best satisfies your sexual and intimate desires. I have found that the best way to find closeness in random events is to ask for it without apologizing. You should be able to identify what you consider intimate and communicate it directly to your casual sex partners. In terms of time, intense intimacy may not be possible for short casual experiences like a one-night stand, but gazing and cuddling are always good options to achieve desired intimacy.

Casual sex means penetrative sex

Sex doesn’t always mean penetration. This definition does not apply to the LGBTQ+ community and may limit us to seeking pleasure through penetration only. Sex is focused on pleasure and can include anything from clitoral rubbing to hickeys on your partner’s chest. The NYU LGBTQ+ Center offers a wide range of educational and community services if you’d like to learn more about queer-focused dialogues about sexuality. If the act gave you the desired sexual pleasure, congratulations – you just had sex!

To send us questions or impressions, fill out this form. Contact Shreya Tomar at [email protected]

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