How loved ones can support victims of domestic violence

Domestic violence usually occurs behind closed doors. Victims may feel isolated and helpless. Sometimes family members and friends may be aware of the abuse, and domestic abuse advocates say there are several things they can do to help the victim.

Cheryl Blakes’ 41-year-old daughter, Keisha Preston, was killed by her ex-husband in 2021 at a motel in northeast Houston. The body of the mother of three was never found. Blakes said her ex-brother-in-law, Sean Preston, physically and severely abused her daughter on several occasions, but Keisha never volunteered to report it.

“He hit her on the head with a bat and bit her in the eye. A police officer at LBJ (Lyndon B. Johnson Hospital) made her report it,” Blakes said.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, it takes an average of seven times for victims of domestic violence to end a relationship permanently.

That’s why, in 2012, the Constable of the 7th Precinct of Harris County created a Domestic Violence Unit.

“Many of them don’t call it domestic violence because the victim thinks it’s normal,” Deputy Sergeant said. Monica Bilbo.

Every Tuesday, victims of abuse can come to the office located on Griggs Road to fill out a protection order and find a list of resources to help them escape safely. This process is meant to be less intimidating than going downtown to a courthouse or visiting multiple law enforcement agencies.

Sergeant Bilbo is in charge of Domestic Violence. She said that friends and family members who may have witnessed or know about the abuse have a responsibility.

“When you don’t say anything, you help this situation to continue, and we don’t want that,” said Bilbo. “We want you to let us know about this, give us a chance to do our due diligence in investigating this.”

Advocates for domestic violence said that in addition to reporting abuse, loved ones can take the following actions:

• Ask questions like “Are you okay?”

• Believe the victim’s story.

• Offer your support and resources.

• Help them make a safety plan.

• Securely record the incident on your phone to share with law enforcement.

• Report abuse or suspected abuse to the police.

Christina Allen is CEO of the Family Crisis and Counseling Center at Humble. The Domestic Violence Service offers a 24-hour hotline, shelter and counseling for victims and their families.

Allen said the number one thing not to do is try to force the victim out of the situation.

“It takes away more autonomy over their own lives, and that’s the nature of abuse and violence,” Allen added.

Allen said that if done, it could potentially save a loved one’s life.